SMS insults

If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!

I'll never forget the first time we met - although, I'll keep trying.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet!

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

She's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I’d fart!

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

Any1 who told u 2 b urself cudnt hav given u worse advice.

I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Ur so stinky u make Right Guard turn left!

Yo momma house so small the doormat just says "WEL"

We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you gonna get.

You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.

You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.

The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

I'd like to break the monotony; where's your weakest point?

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Ur so stupid, u got fired from the M&M factory 4 throwing away all the W's.

You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!

Yo momma's so old she makes yoda jellis!

You set new low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

U r the blueprint on how to build an idiot.

A thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.